“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”
It’s a phrase in Paulo Coelho’s Alchemist that I think I believe.
I say I think I believe - it might be that it’s what I’d like to believe but I can’t help feeling I’m not quite sure – and yet it strikes a deep chord.
I know I want to believe it – but I also know that the act of achieving one’s own happiness is just not as straight forward as you just leaping into it and believing that everyone and everything will work to help you achieve it.
The reality is a lot harder than that, but I also know that if you DO follow your heart and follow your destiny, somehow, somewhere, sometime you WILL get there.
This started out from my dissatisfaction of what I’m doing as a job but I’ve come to realise it is so much more than that. It’s about life and it’s relevant to so many other people and situations.
It could equally be relevant to a Gay guy trying to come to terms with his sexuality, a straight couple trying to figure out why they are together, a student trying to figure out what he wants to do after finishing studying, someone nearing retirement and not being really sure what to do next – it’s all the same.
During my working career I’ve been pretty successfully making a living in Marketing and Web Development. I’ve been earning a pretty good salary, holding pretty good and to be honest, fairly senior positions and seemingly building a very good career – I’m a business professional in every way you’d look at it . I enjoy what I do for the most part – have got a lot of satisfaction out of it, realised I’ve achieved a lot and certainly consider myself as relatively successful in terms of what I’ve achieved growing up.
And yet I still felt empty. Feel empty. And the feeling keeps growing – to such an extent that I now find myself questioning practically everything about what I do. Who am I? What do I stand for? What do I ‘really’ want to spend the rest of my life doing? And with whom?
It’s been said and written about a thousand times before and labelled many things. But I know now that until you experience it yourself you cannot really, fully comprehend the truthful big picture about all this.
And what makes it even harder is that it’s completely different for everyone.
The simple fact is that for many of us, while you spend your entire working life thinking that you’re happy or at least kidding yourself that you’re happy – you are in fact entirely NOT in control of your life.
And whenever you think yourself to be the absolute master of your situation, something will always happen to cast you down.
It always seemed to happen to me – and I always kept asking myself why? AM I always condemned to coming close but never getting to the finish line and achieving what I know I am capable and destined to be?
Well the answer is really simple – it’s because I keep on putting myself into situations where I’m not the one in control of my own destiny – and therefore it’s always someone else’s destiny that effects mine.
And it’s also really complicated because I’ve come to realise that there are things that are brought into our lives, things that we have to experience, that always lead us. Lead us down the path of our personal story. Lead us to what it is that is our destiny. However long that takes.
But we have to learn from them, we have to heed them and see them for what they are if we are to reach that goal. And that is really the hard part.
We have to apply what we’ve learned and be willing to be taught. Be open to what we are experiencing so that we can move along our paths to our goals.
And we may not realise them for what they are at the time and we may not reach our destination as easily as some, as quickly as some. We may not even reach them at all.
Many do not. But if you can tune in to what’s going on and remain true to you as an individual rather than follow the route that society or everyone else seems adamant on taking you down – then there’s a good chance you’ll see what it is that will make you happy and realise what it is you need to do to achieve that.
This understanding of what’s going on is an important blessing because it makes you realise that all the other stuff that goes on in your life, all the other stuff that people insist on ‘imposing’ on you, is exactly that – stuff. Stuff that is not important, stuff that is getting in the way of ‘you’. Stuff that basically holds you from being who you really want to be because like it or not, and believe it or not - you spend far too much time trying to be what other people want you to be.
Read that again – properly. How many times are the things you do or the decisions you make, or the way you act or the clothes you wear or the jobs you take or the place you live or the person you go out with or the social events you go to or the way you treat other people – based on what you ‘think’ other people will think of you because of it or how you ‘want’ other people to perceive you.
Are they really you? Are they really how you want to be? Is that how you really want to live your life – permanently playing to other people’s tune and never your own.
Of course, I’m saying ‘you’ a lot but in actual fact I’m also meaning me – it’s what ‘I’ went through.
I kind of realised all of this. I thought I ‘saw’ it all and I spend a lot of time trying to make sure I don’t get pulled into it. Yet the fact that I can see it, still hasn’t equipped me to ACTUALLY GET TO WHERE IT IS I WANT TO GO.
I feel I’m still making the same mistakes, ending up doing the same type of jobs, striving for the same things and not getting anywhere nearer to where it is I want to be.
Don’t get me wrong – I really believe I’m good at what I do. But the unavoidable keeps on happening. Every time I’ve worked hard to build up to a point where I feel most committed, secure and confident – and safe, it always, somehow, comes apart at the seams and I’m left battered, bruised but determined not to let what other people do, get me down.
Well, I’m changing.
I’m still not absolutely sure of what it is that I really want to do with my life. Still not sure of the type of work that will make me want to jump out of bed every morning. Still not sure whether it’s something big or something so simple that I’ll wonder why it took me so long.
I might still do a job that I know is not my real passion – and I‘ll do it to the best of my ability. I might find a totally new direction to go down. It might turn into something huge or it might just be returning to a simpler life. But I’m going to find what it is that will make me content and I’ll follow my heart and see where it takes me.
It’s an attitude change more than anything – taking it step by step, choosing to look at things differently. Choosing to spend some time figuring out what really makes me happy, what really drives me. Choosing to realise that it won’t necessarily be that simple and won’t come to me in a blinding flash of revelation. But knowing that it will happen.
Maybe not straight away, maybe not in one big jump and maybe it won’t be perfect. Yet.
But I do know that I’ll follow the signs, know when the time is right and end up on a path to greater contentment. I’ll be the one in control of following my own destiny and perhaps if I get some external help along the way, it’ll be the universe saying it’s about time I caught up with them!
I’ll let you know how it goes.
